Oldies often say that it is healthy for married couples to argue sometimes. It adds flavor and color to their mundane life. It allows them to express their personal opinions about important matters. Best of all, it gives them a reason to kiss and makeup and act more lovey-dovey than ever.
Nonetheless, disagreements that occur far too often can be dangerous for any relationship. The innocent banter turns into a full-blown yelling match all of a sudden. Each party wants to prove how wrong the other person is, and vice versa. The fights that used to happen behind closed doors erupt even in front of friends and family too.
Where is the love in this kind of situation?
In case you sit down one day with your spouse and wonder how you can resolve your issues, our recommendation is for you two to practice mindfulness. Together – not separately. Check out the benefits it may bring to your marital life.
Your Composure Won’t Be All Over The Place
The first aspect that being mindful can change is your lack of composure. You need the latter to speak calmly and choose the proper words to explain something. “When you practice things like gratitude or mindfulness, your brain creates shortcuts for these skills, making it easier and easier each time you do it (like riding a bike!),” says Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. It is easy to lose, though, primarily if you always charge like a wrecking ball when arguing with your significant other. But once you concentrate on finding peace within yourself, you may be able to compose yourself again and lessen the household fights.
You Can Overcome Problems Better
When you are not in zen mode, you tend to let a misunderstanding brew and mature before you confront your husband or wife about it. You may want more evidence too, which allows suspicions to stay in your mind for an extended period. The result is that an issue that you could’ve solved early starts toying with your head, giving you more negative ideas.
To get rid of that problem, you should try meditating. The activity can clear your mental confusion and help you seek the truth fast. Thus, you won’t need to harbor ill feelings, which may even be baseless.
Stress Cannot Affect Your Relationship
Practicing mindfulness lets you imagine all the stressful vibes you garnered during the day flowing out of your body. According to Valerie Knopik, PhD – Director of Research for Yoga Medicine, the Miller Professor of Human Development and Family Studies at Purdue University says, “when we practice mind-body techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, and focused intention tasks, we influence brain activity in regions that are involved in reducing psychological stress and increasing the parasympathetic response. This can, over time and with practice, ease anxiety and increase mood. With your eyes closed, you can see the empty spaces that stress left getting filled with white or rainbow light, energizing and illuminating every fiber in your body. Considering you and your spouse do it at once, the pressure that you might both obtain from work or other aspects of life won’t destroy your marriage.
Admitting Your Fault Isn’t That Difficult
For disagreeing couples, it is not beyond them to blame each other for something. Say, if the husband forgot to pay the electric bills on time, he might accuse the wife of not reminding him before its due date. The latter won’t back down, for sure, and talk about how irresponsible the man can be. In short, no one wishes to accept that a mishap occurred because of them.
Well, what’s impressive about doing meditation is that you can realize how silly your issues are compared to the problems of people from the rest of the world. You argue about forgetting to pay the bills, while others have no idea how to get a job or find food for their family. It is a humbling experience, frankly speaking, and that’s the kind of wake-up call that we sometimes need to stop fighting.
Have A Happily Ever After
Doesn’t it seem so effortless to envision forever with your spouse now that you are no longer sniping and being mean to one another?
Of course, small problems do not always have to explode into something that’s difficult to fix if you talk. “Stress impacts our love relationships more than we are aware of or acknowledge,” according to Judy Ford, a licensed clinical social worker. However, in case that’s all you have been doing, and the fights are far from dying down, then you should commit to practicing mindfulness. You can do it at home by yourselves or in a studio with a guru. The significant thing here is that after a session or two, you see the benefits mentioned above in you.