Psychology practically wants to tell everyone that love comes in various forms and intensities. You can find a lost puppy in the streets and fall in love with it. You may meet the man of your dreams and wish to have him in your life for the rest of eternity. For sure, you also feel love towards your family members who have been by your side since day 1 and never leave you, come what may. “Love makes you feel as if you can do anything,” says Carly Spindel, a dating and relationship expert.
The thing is, even though you have enough space in your heart to love different individuals at once, there may still be times when you find yourself in the middle of chaos because of this love as well. That is especially true if your parents do not seem to approve of your boyfriend.
I know it is not common for women who are in love to listen to their family members once they are head over heels for a guy. You tend to hear comments like “You can’t tell me what to do” and “He loves me more than you realize” when a relative asks about the integrity of their partner. However, if you do not want to have to choose between your boyfriend and your family, here are a few tips to ensure that everyone at home will adore your man as much as you do.
1. Make Sure That He Is A Good Guy
The first thing that you should focus on before even introducing a man to your parents and the rest of the brood is making sure that you are with a good guy. In other words, the guy respects you as a woman, tries to cheer you up whenever you feel sad, and is willing to do anything to see your smile. According to Kurt Smith, Psy.D., LMFT, LPCC, AFC, “There will be trying times and even bad times that we will need to work through together. The key to surviving these times is to remember to be respectful, acknowledge our commitment, and work through whatever is at hand together.”
It is mostly in the movies that you will see family members looking down on the lead girl’s love interest because of his looks or financial status. In real life, your mom and dad merely need to get a guarantee that you will be happier than ever with this man beside you. If you know that your boyfriend has such qualities, then there’s no way for the old folks to disregard him. Nevertheless, in case you realize the opposite, don’t waste another minute to reevaluate your relationship before your family even gets wind of it.
2. Plan The First Introduction With Your Boyfriend
Considering your man passes the “preliminary inspection” and you feel like it is time to do a little meet-and-greet session with your relatives, you should discuss it with him first. One reason is that you do not want to scare the guy away. Some men are typically afraid of getting introduced to the family of their girlfriend for the first time, no matter how genuine their feelings are towards the woman. Others simply do not wish to be put on the spot and go to your parents’ house without even knowing a thing about them.
What you should do, therefore, is have a sit-down meeting with your boyfriend one day and mention your desire to introduce him to your family. Assuming he agrees to it, you can both decide if you will visit your folks’ place or prepare everything in a restaurant. Now may be the best time to pull up photos of your relatives and describe each of them so that the man can figure out how to act around everyone.
3. Don’t Hide The Relationship To Your Family For Too Long
Another tip from verywellfamily site that you should not forget is that you need to come out and inform your family about your new relationship as soon as things become serious with you and your man. For one, you cannot let another soul reveal it to the people you love before you do. Aside from that putting you at risk of being gossiped about, your parents may not appreciate the fact that they have had to learn about it from someone else. It is good to try to ensure that this coupling will last, but you cannot allow your family to be out of the loop for too long.
In The End
According to Susan Winter, coaching professional, an expert that’s been consulted by Oprah, the NY Times and the Today show, “relationships are organic. They shift and evolve due to circumstances. You can start off being in-love with someone, then falling into a comfortable pattern of loving them, but not necessarily feel that initial in-love spark any more.” You ought to understand that you cannot force anyone to see your boyfriend the same way that you do. Whether you come from a conservative family or not, it may take time for your brothers, sisters, and parents to warm up to someone they have just met. In case they have already rejected your boyfriend before, that should not stop you from praying and showing them that your man is the right one for you. If he genuinely is that type of guy for you, everyone will notice it in time and bless your relationship.