It is normal for every married couple to get confused about their roles in the relationship sometimes. That is because many factors affect their emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental health needs. There is the toxicity of dealing with different people outside their circle. There is the pressure of professional engagements and community contributions. And there are also their mutual and personal needs. In line with that, it gets apparent that most married couples tend to assume things only to go with the flow with their marital relationship. Despite not knowing that some of it can turn out to be severely damaging for both of their mental health. Here are some of those stuff couples frequently assume.
They Agree To Disagree
Well, in some instances, this statement can be quite valid. Of course, both couples have different opinions about something. One can imply a different solution to any marital situation while the other begs to differ. With these indifferences, married couples tend to discuss things and have a meaningful conversation, and that is good. However, things can pretty much escalate quickly. Thus, couples can expect the usual ending of this agreement to the disagreement with one of them sticking to the “it’s up to you” idea. Though it might seem strategically safe to use the statement to avoid marital conflict, it will somehow result in a negative approach once the decision fails. It will go down to the process of blaming the person who pushed through the decision despite not getting a hundred percent approval from his or her other half.
Evidently, there is no martial rule that says both couples should continue to argue about something just to achieve an end to the discussion. But always assuming that disagreement in decision-making is okay will not help the marital relationship at all. It is okay for married couples to start the conversation implying different solutions. However, they must end up agreeing to the same thing if they want things to work out. Both of them should realize that they have to agree on the best solution to their marital issue whole-heartedly for them to move forward. Because if they don’t, the emotional and mental stress cycle will just continue.
They Let Time Decide For Them
One of the common things that couples do every time they end up arguing, doing something, or making a life-long marital choice is that they often let time decide for them. Married couples have this mentality that since they are already spending a lot of time together, they can have anything anytime they want. They somehow convince each other to either do the things they want or make the best out of their lives. Indeed, that is not a bad idea, though. However, they give each other false hope that time can change and solve everything. But they are not to blame for that, as well. Since married couples tend to focus more on their future, it is practically acceptable to use time as their defense.
Unfortunately, things can also happen the least couples expect. Sometimes, when they get too dependent on relying on time, both of them end up emotionally, physically, and mentally undeveloped as a married couple. They get stagnant with their routines too. But the most devastating part of that “time dependence” is when they finally realize that everything is too late. It can crush them both, and that particular distraught can force them to go on with their separate lives.
They Ignore Little Things
People believe the saying that “the more you love a person, the more you ignore his or her flaws.” Well, we can all certainly agree to that. There is nothing more explicit expression of love than acceptance. However, marital commitment is different from any early to middle staged romantic relationships. That is because every little thing matters. One mistake can be remembered for a lifetime. One false statement can be used as an argument basis, and one wrong decision can change the marriage forever. Thus, the couple’s assumption that small things don’t entirely matter is a big bag of a lie because every single change is a significant basis for weakening or strengthening the marital relationship.
To prove a point, many times that couples end up separating are not because one commits cheating or engaging in physical violence. That is the result. The misunderstanding often starts with small complaints that soon piled up and became a wick for a mental and emotional outburst. With that, people can agree that when it comes to marital issues, nothing is less than necessary because every action, word, response, and behavior can significantly affect the marriage.
Again, marital commitment requires a different level of understanding, tolerance, and open-mindedness. It is essential that couples quit assuming things and start working on what is best for the marriage.