Upon receiving the invitation to participate in the 2015 Minnesota Psychotherapy Conference, we were quick to presume that the subject matters it would cover would be similar to other seminars we went to before. “They would talk about depression or anxiety first. Then, they might tackle the benefits of online counseling.” Although that was not far off from the reality, something we did not foresee was the inclusion of marriage counseling in the list of topics.
To commemorate the third year since we attended the conference mentioned above, therefore, let us share three tips on how to avoid marital problems.
Your husband had a family before you. He is what he is now because there was someone who nurtured him most of his life. He for sure loved a woman as much as he loves you now, and he owes his every breath to his parents. But how do you deal with the idea that there will always be some people who would matter, maybe even more than you do?
Oldies often say that it is healthy for married couples to argue sometimes. It adds flavor and color to their mundane life. It allows them to express their personal opinions about important matters. Best of all, it gives them a reason to kiss and makeup and act more lovey-dovey than ever.
Nonetheless, disagreements that occur far too often can be dangerous for any relationship. The innocent banter turns into a full-blown yelling match all of a sudden. Each party wants to prove how wrong the other person is, and vice versa. The fights that used to happen behind closed doors erupt even in front of friends and family too.
Where is the love in this kind of situation?
In case you sit down one day with your spouse and wonder how you can resolve your issues, our recommendation is for you two to practice mindfulness. Together – not separately. Check out the benefits it may bring to your marital life.
Your Composure Won’t Be All Over The Place
The first aspect that being mindful can change is your lack of composure. You need the latter to speak calmly and choose the proper words to explain something. It is easy to lose, though, primarily if you always charge like a wrecking ball when arguing with your significant other. But once you concentrate on finding peace within yourself, you may be able to compose yourself again and lessen the household fights.
You Can Overcome Problems Better
When you are not in zen mode, you tend to let a misunderstanding brew and mature before you confront your husband or wife about it. You may want more evidence too, which allows suspicions to stay in your mind for an extended period. The result is that an issue that you could’ve solved early starts toying with your head, giving you more negative ideas.
To get rid of that problem, you should try meditating. The activity can clear your mental confusion and help you seek the truth fast. Thus, you won’t need to harbor ill feelings, which may even be baseless.
Stress Cannot Affect Your Relationship
Practicing mindfulness lets you imagine all the stressful vibes you garnered during the day flowing out of your body. With your eyes closed, you can see the empty spaces that stress left getting filled with white or rainbow light, energizing and illuminating every fiber in your body. Considering you and your spouse do it at once, the pressure that you might both obtain from work or other aspects of life won’t destroy your marriage.
Admitting Your Fault Isn’t That Difficult
For disagreeing couples, it is not beyond them to blame each other for something. Say, if the husband forgot to pay the electric bills on time, he might accuse the wife of not reminding him before its due date. The latter won’t back down, for sure, and talk about how irresponsible the man can be. In short, no one wishes to accept that a mishap occurred because of them.
Well, what’s impressive about doing meditation is that you can realize how silly your issues are compared to the problems of people from the rest of the world. You argue about forgetting to pay the bills, while others have no idea how to get a job or find food for their family. It is a humbling experience, frankly speaking, and that’s the kind of wake-up call that we sometimes need to stop fighting.
Have A Happily Ever After
Doesn’t it seem so effortless to envision forever with your spouse now that you are no longer sniping and being mean to one another?
Of course, small problems do not always have to explode into something that’s difficult to fix if you talk. However, in case that’s all you have been doing, and the fights are far from dying down, then you should commit to practicing mindfulness. You can do it at home by yourselves or in a studio with a guru. The significant thing here is that after a session or two, you see the benefits mentioned above in you.
Some relationships tragically end because of lies which are unavoidable sometimes. There are instances that we do or say things that are hurtful to the people dear to us, and we think that we are protecting them by tailoring the reality.
“Though shall not lie.” But why do we still do it? It is sad for some marriages that have ended because of all the white lies that piled up and have become too painful.
What are white lies?
White lies are the things we need to say that aren’t big of a deal to hide a disturbing truth. These are told to avoid conflicts or misunderstandings. Even if they are not too offensive, they could start the fire that will burn the whole house down.
“The truth shall set you free,” and it will! Communication and honesty are two essential elements of a successful relationship whether it is in marriage, friendship, or other connections.
How Can The Truth Therapy Strengthen A Relationship?
It Provides Self-Awareness.
The truth therapy makes you know yourself better. It aims to uncover all the things that you are hesitant to reveal. You may have some things you want to keep to yourself or things that are unacceptable. In truth therapy, the goal is to bring out all there is that you may be hiding which are affecting your life.
It Promotes Trust.
Once a person knows the power of telling the truth, he will start to believe in the positive things it does to his relationships, therefore is open to trying it out to build a better connection to all the people around him. He gets the idea that there is freedom from telling the truth and sincerity to relationships.
It Opens Opportunities.
When you are transparent and are willing to expose your strengths and weaknesses, the people around you will have an understanding of your behavior and how to treat and approach you.
It Takes Away Fear.
You are fearful when you are hiding something. When you have revealed all there is, no one can say things that will affect you. You and the people who matter know the truth, and that makes you more courageous to face anything in life.
It Starts A New Beginning.
Honesty clears your path of the hindrances that were blocking your journey to success. It starts with self-awareness, and it continues to realizations about life. It makes you reflect on your goals and makes your decisions less complicated.
The truth is a sign of commitment, may it be to yourself, to other people, or to life itself. It is a sign of sincerity that you have the real desire or intention. There are times when the truth is hidden to avoid the worse things from happening, but there’s a quote which says, “Better to get hurt by the truth than be comforted with a lie.”
Always choose to stick to the truth because it is one thing that we share with the people who are valuable to us. If you care about a person and your relationship, you will go your way to tell nothing but the whole truth because sometimes, things can hurt them worse when they hear it from somebody else.
Find out about online therapies that can help you strengthen your relationships by checking BetterHelp – an online portal providing e-counseling services.
When couples don’t get along well, the first thing that comes to their mind is to get a divorce. Then impulsively they will act on it, sometimes not considering the consequences or the effects it would have on their kids.