Upon receiving the invitation to participate in the 2015 Minnesota Psychotherapy Conference, we were quick to presume that the subject matters it would cover would be similar to other seminars we went to before. “They would talk about depression or anxiety first. Then, they might tackle the benefits of online counseling.” Although that was not far off from the reality, something we did not foresee was the inclusion of marriage counseling in the list of topics.
To commemorate the third year since we attended the conference mentioned above, therefore, let us share three tips on how to avoid marital problems.
1. Don’t Take Your Spouse’s Feelings For Granted
“Learn how to express concerns constructively,” according to Susan Heitler Ph.D., a clinical psychologist. A universal igniter of arguments at home is the lack of regard that a person shows towards the worries or anger of his or her significant other. Remember that the issue may not seem big for you, but it may have more weight in your partner’s perspective. You should find out where the emotions are coming from to resolve it instead of ignoring your spouse’s feelings completely.
2. Try Not To Sleep On Any Problem
It seems typical for two people, no matter how much love they feel for each other, to disagree on some things or deal with misunderstandings. However, if you want peace and harmony to prevail in your household, you cannot forget to kiss and makeup before bed. Developing this habit ensures that your hearts will not grow apart and that you can both sleep well. As what marriage therapist Chana Levitan wrote, “Accept and allow.”
3. Give Each Other A Boost
As mentioned also in WomansToday.com, getting married not only means that you found someone to share eternity with. It also entails that there is now an individual whom you can count on to support you and lift your spirits anytime. Once you do that to one another, neither of you may feel neglected or unloved. Hence, word war won’t ensue. “Most importantly, stop trying to change your partner. In almost any ongoing relationship, trying to change the other person is a losing strategy,” says Susan Heitler Ph.D.
Heed the tips above so that you won’t ever need to sign up for marriage counseling in the future. Good luck!